Tuesday, May 22, 2007

may 20, 2000


we were married at half past three on a sunny saturday in georgia. harry connick sang "with a wink and a smile" as we twirled around our outdoor dance floor under a canopy of bubbles and well wishes. we had been dating for exactly three years.

we're celebrating seven years of marriage this week. the copper anniversary. let me give you my two cents on the past seven years:

it's been hard. like copper, our marriage has become tarnished by wind and weather. our marriage is not strong, like gold or platinum. it is malleable like copper. there are dings and dents here and there. our arguments travel through our marriage with as much shock and brightness as an electric current traveling along copper wire.

there is a definite patina that has developed on our marriage. we attended three weddings this past year, and at each one, i felt like the old married couple in the corner. [oh, those two? still married, huh?]

we didn't celebrate our anniversary this past sunday, so much as we acknowledged it. i almost didn't blog about it, because i simply felt there was nothing bright and shiny to share. but here it is! through the process of writing this post, i have found this:

In terms of antiques, "Patina is everything that happens to an object over the course of time. The nick in the leg of a table, a scratch on a table top, the loss of moisture in the paint, the crackling of a finish or a glaze in ceramics, the gentle wear patterns on the edge of a plate. All these things add up to create a softer look, subtle color changes, a character. Patina is built from all the effects, natural and man-made, that create a true antique." - Israel Sack

there is beauty yet to be found in our marriage! we may have struggled through each and every day of the past year. it is o.k. we are o.k.

matty, my gift to you on our copper anniversary - my two cents on what the future has yet to hold for us:



we are young and healthy and we are both making important changes in our well-beings;

we have an amazing son and there is still the possibility that one day we will grow our family;

things that are lost may be found again;

i count my lucky pennies that there is always another year ahead, always another anniversary to be celebrated! (i've got my eye on some cool pottery for next year...)

edited to say: don't forget, there IS an spt post below!

29 comments:

Victoria said...

What a sweet post! Happy Anniversary! Married life is the best, yes there are ups and downs, but I love those too, each one brings you closer together. Enjoy 7 more, 70 more! :)

Price Cream Parlor said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I loved how you tied everything together with the copper! We will be married 19 years next month. And, I tell you, marriage is hard. I think that it is suppose to be WORK - otherwise, how would we grow and learn from each other and about ourselves?
Wishing you much love and happiness as you rediscover. Thanks for sharing!

kristi brooke said...

happy anniversary.

i love your two cents photo. i used the same concept with some graduation cards i made this year.

ok, was it really harry connick singing at your wedding? either way great song!

lelly said...

i WISH it was really harry...

sadly, just his golden voice on CD!

Rebekah said...

Lelly, I loved this post, as I have loved all your posts that I've read. I can tell you have a great spirit and I'm so happy I found your blog!

Cynthia said...

Great blog, loved the copper anology.

Anne said...

Happy Anniversary Lelly!!

carlo said...

oh lelly...you are such an inspirational and gifted writer.

i popped in quickly to see what spt holds for today and i was moved by your writing and copper story.

marriage is indeed work. everything worth having is, of course.

Kelly A. said...

Happy Anniversary you two! Seven years is something to celebrate in itself, and let's not forget little Jack!! Congratulations!

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Wow! What a post. I love the symbolism.

Lucy said...

Happy Anniversary. I really love the patina remark. Mostly, I love your honesty and optimism. Yes...here's to many, many more.

stefanie@stationerywithstyle.com said...

I really needed to read this, so thank you for your post. It is always reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one struggling.

Amanda :-) said...

Oh, a sweet mixture of sentiments in that post, Lelly. The pic is fab. You look like the cat that got the cream!

The father (bear with me on this)...the father of the bridal shop owner who was organising my wedding dress to be made, called in one day and he was celebrating his anniversary. A big one. 40 or 50 years. On the cusp of marriage, Paul was there too to pick me up (dress in bits, hidden away!!) and do we asked him for a big tip on a successful marriage and he looked at Paul and said: 'Whatever she's doing, DON'T rush her. That's it. If she feels rushed, it spoils EVERYTHING'. Hahaha. It's so true.

Happy Anniversary. xx

Amanda :-) said...

...oops, typo!

"and SO we asked him..."

Liz said...

Happy Anniversary, Lelly. Seven is a hard year it seems. I think with every marriage, there are ups and downs. You just have to hope for more ups.

Cristin said...

I love what you wrote...

Happy Anniversary, and many more to come!

Kelly said...

I love your honesty. You have a beautiful way of portraying real life. Wishing you a happy 8th year.

Amy said...

Happy Anniversary. And, yes, you are a gifted writer. And thinker. And evoker of emotions. Now I'm off to see what 5 years means...it's coming up!

Paris Lover said...

You write beautifully! Happy Anniversary... with many more to come.

Barb said...

I loved that - great connection between the copper anniversary and 7 years of marriage. I'm hoping my marriage will reflect my anniversary on my 60th anniversary (diamond)!

annalisa said...

I enjoyed this post. Sometimes the my marriage, my husband is perfect posts make me wonder, when we all know we've all been so mad at our spouse at some point in life we don't even like them. Marriage encompasses it all, the ups and downs, and in the end, you have a best friend to enjoy those years with, ups and downs.

Elizabeth said...

Thank you for sharing that definition. Marriage is amazing because it is ever changing.
I have felt like the old married couple before. Usually when we are eating out and are too tired to talk much.
Happy Anniversary. We were married just one month apart from each other!

sista # 2 said...

Love love love this post! So real!
I think anyone reading your thoughts can see themselves -at any point in their marriage journey! Hubs & I were just talking (we had a long road trip)about our anniversary- in 2 years -will be #19 and I was 19 when we married! Wow! Time flys is an understatement!
Also, great spt post & pix!!Janae

Kari said...

Awww, there's nothing like a nostalgic post to get me to do deep thinking of my own!

Thanks for the introspection and deep thoughts, Lelly!!!

michelle said...

What a great post Lelly! Happy Anniversary to you. I really liked how you related marriage to a penney. I have been married 22 years! It has been the best 22 years of my life, and the hardest 22 years of my life. I too enjoy Harry Conick Junior! Good song selection! :)

Cozzette said...

I loved this post! Happy Anniversary! You are a beautiful writer indeed.

Jenny said...

Happy Anniversary! Such a fun post to read along with a great wedding photo. Hope you love birds had a wonderful day!

Jill said...

What a great anniversary post! I'm always grateful when people post the truth and don't sugar coat things too much. Marriage is hard and to pretend that it isn't is just crazy.

Happy Anniversary!

michelle said...

What a wonderful post! I love your thoughts on your marriage and its future. The copper analogy is great, patina is well worth the effort. Here's to many more!