Wednesday, February 28, 2007

s'il vous plait

my rant for the day, so watch out!

i hate feeling stressed out. i especially hate feeling stressed out about things that should be simple. i have not been sleeping well this week, and i am 100% sure that the number one contributer is the fact that jack's party is on saturday, and NO IN HAS HAD THE COURTESY TO RESPOND!!

(ok, like 4 mothers have responded. a few people out there know the rules!!)

but the rest of you? hello? my child invited every kid in his class, plus a few extras, so we could potentially have 20 kids there. but i won't know until saturday, because no one has responded! the difference between treats for 6 and treats for 20 is pretty big, people!

i am going to plan for 20, because i am sadly aware that we, as a whole, have obviously forgotten the art of the r.s.v.p. more than likely, every. single. kid. he invited will be there. (and trust me, i WANT them to be there. i really do!)

What RSVP Means
The term R.S.V.P. comes from the French expression "répondez s'il vous plaît", meaning "please respond".

If R.S.V.P. is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party. It does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event, and needs it by the date specified on the invitation.

Why It's Inconsiderate to Not RSVP
An incomplete list of respondents can cause numerous problems for a host including difficulty in planning food quantities, issues relating to minimum guarantees with catering halls, uncertainty over the number of party favors and difficulties in planning appropriate seating, among other things.

The next time you see R.S.V.P. on an invitation you receive, please call your host and respond promptly.

so, mothers, friends, people who have told me all about your feet: PLEASE remember dear miss post and the lessons she taught. trust me, it will ALWAYS be cool to be polite!


amy m said...

This has also been a pet peeve of mine, but also something that I've had to consciously work on. There have actually been times when I don't let my child go to the party because I haven't RSVP. I know how frustrating it can be for the host. Hope you start to get some calls.

michelle said...

You're right, it IS always cool to be polite! So sorry you are out to sea on your party planning.

Stephanie said...

I love your rant. I hope some mothers will start to call. It makes it very hard on the Thanks for adding me to your list.

Barb said...

What if you only gave treat bags to the kids whose moms RSVP'd? Just kidding! That would be terrible!

Kristen said...

I hate not knowing how many treats to buy or if friends will be bringing siblings etc.
Good luck! I hope you get more RSVP's. I loved learning about the true definition.

Dana said...

I feel you on this. Teaching yet another generation of children how to live in this society mannerless. Drives me nuts!

Robyn said...

It's so funny that you posted about this b/c it drives me CRAZY when people don't RSVP. I had a big Halloween party for my kids last year and we invited over 20 kids (plus sibs). Only about 8-9 responded. I was in the same boat as you. It's really frustrating!

However, recently I have forgotten to do it myself for a few things! I can't believe that I have lowered myself to that level. I sincerely apologized to the hosts for the oversight. It was just that I was busy, in one case, and that I didn't notice the RSVP at the bottom in another. The next invite I got, after those two mishaps, I was sure to RSVP. I hope that you get some more response before the big day. Good luck!

Kelly A. said...

Ohhhh do I feel your rant. I had a baby shower a few months ago, sent out 50 invitations and 4 people RSVP'd. Food for 50 women or 4?

I was in charge of a cub scout banquet last week, 115 people RSVP'd and 40 showed up! I bought food for 115!!!

And last week I had a fleeting recollection of seeing a birthday invitation (my husband opened it and handed it to our 3 yr old and it was carried away to the depths of the house), we missed the party I am sure, no RSVP no nothing. I couldn't even make eye contact with the mother when I saw her at church, I was so ashamed!

carlo said...

Seriously could not agree more that manners are a must.

I have all but given up on writing RSVP since it doesn't seem to help.

My sister is so last minute that she never RSVPs for ANYTHING. Well who do you think was complaining, and loudly, on the day of my neice's BuildABear party and she had no idea if she even had enough kids coming to the party to qualify for a party... I had to really bite my tongue

On a happy note CONGRATS on Jack's big day. I know the party will go off well and he will have a great time. I hope you get more info on numbers so you can have fun, too.

Price Cream Parlor said...

RUDE! I just find it interesting when parents just show up with their kiddos at a party and you had no idea they were coming! Good luck with the party!!

Kelly said...

Oh, that is bad that nobody has responded. I'm in a bit of a pickle today. My daughter Avery just handed me an invitation to a birthday party that is tomorrow. She got it at school and didn't share it with me. So, I haven't RSVP'd. I feel yucky about that, and I am not quite sure what to do other than call the mom and apologize and say I understand if it had to be planned without Avery.

Good luck with the party - I hope the calls start pouring in for you.

Amanda :-) said...

Right, I've only read HALF of this post so far, Lelly, and I'm SEETHING!!!! Let's see if the rest of it calms me down....
*bangs mouse on desk and clicks frantically*

Amanda :-) said...

Okay, so I've finished reading your post. You're the bigger person for keeping cool about it all and resorting to good manners. I'm a mum who always rsvp's - I mean, how hard is it to pick up the phone and say sorry he/she can't go, but GOOD LUCK with the party and you hope their child has a good time? How time-consuming is that??

It's basic good manners to just answer a question, isn't it?

(I'll ignore that 'cyber silence'!!)

Amanda :-) said...

Oh, I should just add to that last comment that, on reading everyone's responses, it is of course not helped if children or spouses don't pass on info.

Kelly.a. - you are so right when you say things get 'carried away to the depths of the house'.
That is why, with invitations, I have to physically PIN THEM DOWN somewhere out of reach and make the rsvp-ing a priority.

But, yes, if they get 'lost' in the hubbub of family life then you're stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea. :-(

carlo said...

can't wait to hear the final count and also to hear how you kept your blood pressure under control when you had 16 instead of 20... :)

sista # 2 said...

Amen!! I rsvp right away, most don't. For our kiddos b-day parties I had on the invite: please call me to get our gate code. Clever huh?haha
They did respond, otherwise knew they would look stupid stuck at the gate;)
(I too invite everyone in the class, I don't want hurt feelings!)