existential crafting

so, pink christmastime is here.

i worked on my pink christmas project over the thanksgiving holiday, and i'm pleased with the results. i'm just not quite sure it's finished.

i've had plenty of time to get ready, of course. (kind of like those final papers in college...) give me all the time in the world, and i'm still going to wait until the last possible minute. that's a big part of who i am.

creating homemade gifts is something i look forward to, and something i dread at the same time. i love the imagining, the planning, the searching for the right project. i often falter with the actual creation, fearing that it won't turn out exactly as i planned (perfectionism *is* a treatable disease, no?) that's also a big part of who i am.

i spent a good portion of the weekend looking at the gift, wondering what it needed. was something missing? was i looking at a final product, or was there more work to be done?

my family spent a good portion of the weekend looking at the gift, too. (they couldn't help it - it was sitting right there on the kitchen counter.) finally, matty said, "it doesn't say *lelly* anywhere."

and he's right. it's missing a *lellyness*. the minute the words were out of his mouth, i knew he was right. in the oh-yeah-these-socks-DON'T-match kind of a rightness.

the thing is, i don't know what my crafting "stamp" is. i know what my writing "stamp" is, the choice of words, the rhythm of the sentences. when i read something i've written, i know that it embodies my very being. can i find that same reflection in a craft project?

so before the wrapping, before the sending, i will likely spend a few more hours with this gift, searching for a part of me to share with it's recipient.

happy pink christmas to all of you creative people out there! may you find a little more of yourselves this season!!